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Unstable drunk John Boehner to resign

Goodbye, so long and thanks for the fish weepy John Boehner. After recently calling conservatives ‘bad garbage’ the Drunk of the House has decided to step down from Speaker and resign entirely for Congress. Great news.

Last week there were rumblings about a conservative coup against Boehner and the Speakership. Boehner, knowing more than we will ever know about decided he was too old and too drunk to fight the coup and announced today he is stepping down as Speaker/Drunk of the House and will resign from Congress October 30th. Good riddance you drunk.

Unstable drunk John Boehner to resign
Unstable drunk John Boehner to resign

Now Boehner could go join Eric Cantor as a lobbyist or something.